Listening is hard work; Listening for extended time is not natural for people;
Mind does not want to pay attention; strolls away after some time
You think faster than people talk; 4 times faster think in concepts, not individual words
People are boring
Dwell on irrelevant details, insist on jargon, stumble along verbally trying to express
half formed ideas
You rehearse your responses when people talk.
You have too much on your mind
Listening puts you on a ‘second class” role
You think the speaker has nothing of value to contribute
You don’t believe much anyone tells you anyway
You can’t hear: too much noise in the place, speaker whispering
Search for something you can use; find common areas of interest
Take the initiative
Concentrate on what is said
Ignore person’s delivery and personality
Reach for the ideas being conveyed.
Simulate talker with attentiveness & interest
Work at listening
Efficient listening takes energy & practice
If subject announced in advance, read about it, think and establish your own point of view
Focus your attention on ideas
Listen to the speaker’s central ideas
Pick out the ideas as they are presented
Sort the facts from principles; ideas from examples; evidence from opinions
Make meaningful notes
Improves ability to learn and remember
Make notes brief, easy to interpret & easy to review
Resist external distractions
Reading may depend so completely upon listening as to appear to be a special extension or listening:
What child does not read a selection better after listening and talking about it?
The ability to listen seems to set limits on the ability to read
“I like my boss, he listens to me, I can talk to him”.
Bosses who listen earn the respect of their staff they discover important things about how the business is going.
Employees have excellent ideas about improvement
managers who listen do better
True listening promotes cooperation, it assumes the other person has worth, dignity and something to offer:
makes the other person feel positive