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WHY ” LIVE-IN-RELATIONSHP ” ?

Marriage is a social Institution which is accepted by most of the societies in the world. However there are few societies which accept ” Live In Relation ” . In European countries ” Live In Relationships ” are very common. Two people of opposite gender freely live under one roof , they share their emotions , satisfy sexual urges and even give birth to child without getting married.In India and other Asian countries Live In Relationships are not socially accepted but still there are individuals who choose this type of relationship.


Couples who love each other but lack commitment prefer ” Live In Relation ” . According to Psychologist Robert Sternberg Love between a couple ,has three components , Commitment , Intimacy and Passion . Couples who lack Commitment component in their love and only experience strong feeling of Intimacy and Passion , Choose Live in Relationship. Commitment is a major component of love. It is responsible for long lasting relationship and sincerity between couples. When Commitment is not present marriage breaks. Thus a major difference between Marriage and Live in Relation is that married couples have commitment and couples living in Live in relation lack commitment. However it is possible that Live in Relationship couples experience commitment later in their relation and wish to marry each other.

Now it is important to know that , why some individuals lack commitment component in their love ? It has been seen that children whose parents got separated by divorce , develop a feeling that marriage is not good , it only gives tension , pain , conflicts & grief. As they grow up their negative feeling towards marriage become stronger . When such individuals fall in love with some one, although they want to live with that person( the person whom they start loving ) but their past experience & negative feelings towards marriage do not allow them to commit for marriage. So they choose ” Live in Relationship ” as such individual experience very strong feeling of Intimacy & Passion towards the person they love. Another reason is children who have been brought up in families where there have been lot of extra marital affairs or in other words one or both parents of child have love affairs with other individuals & therefore the child has not seen the commitment part of love between his or her parents . Such children when grow up do not want to go for a committed relation like marriage. Peer influence to some extent also responsible for ” Live in relation “.

Live in relationship couples face problems , when one of the partner start feeling commitment in love & other does not. At this moment the partner wishes to marry but the other partner refuses & forces to continue living together without marriage. Conflict arises which eventually leads to break ups & emotional distress . Since ” Live in Relation ” does not have any legal implication the female cannot expect for any money or property from the male.Also children born to such couples are not considered legal . So they too have a dark future as they will be brought up by single parent & there are chances that the child will too lack commitment component of love when he or she will grew up.” Live In Relation ” do not last for very long time either it ends up in marriage or permanent separation of the couples but mostly it ends up with separation.

Thus in a nut shell ” Live in Relation ” have short life span as the commitment component of love is missing . Commitment between couples is very essential for a lasting relation.


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1 Response

  1. Proto_de_Goa says:

    You have very well listed the possible circumstances the could lead an individual to get into a live-in relationship in your 3rd para.
    Now consider the fact that the parents of this individual had opted for a committed relationship in marriage but somehow the marriage didn’t work due to various factors and had a direct negative influence on the character of this person.
    It can even happen as in todays busy times that the individual had been deprived of love and attention as a child and s/he seeks it outside and not understanding the difference in love and infatuation gets involved in such open ended relationship.
    However if a person understands him/herself very well and make a conscious decision to attempt an unsure relationship not just for sex but to accept another person’s interference in his/her life than live-in is the best option. It takes courage to choose such relation, but it is better than giving a verbal commitment and depriving one’s partner of all the love and affection.
    I feel you are mixing up long term security with the commitment aspect. One may be committed to his partner for physical and emotional relations but materially deprive all other benefits such as share in the inheritance of property/wealth and transfer it directly to the children.
    I would say there is even a better thing than commitment its called “LOVE” (accept a person as s/he is ). Its not easy.. try it.
    LIVE-IN comes from the material world try before you buy…(;-)

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