Humor

Mobile Confusions and embarassments 4

The Mobile revolution has not only brought in a lot of comforts in terms of connectivity, communication convenience and more importantly the relief from the bureaucratic Govt.

Ungrateful man! 0

A married couple were about to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. To wish them good luck and grant them a wish each a fairy appeared before them and asked them both for a wish each.

The woman told the fairy that it had been her lifelong dream to go on a luxury cruise around the world with her loving husband. Suddenly the fairy waved her wand and poof – there appeared two tickets for an all-inclusive cruise around the world on the Queen Elizabeth II. The woman was overjoyed.

Next it was the husband’s turn. He told the fairy that it had also been his wish to travel on a cruise ship around the world. However he wished that he would travel with a woman 30 years younger than him. The fairy waver her wand and suddenly the man became 90 years old!!

Ungrateful man! 0

A married couple were about to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. To wish them good luck and grant them a wish each a fairy appeared before them and asked them both for a wish each.

The woman told the fairy that it had been her lifelong dream to go on a luxury cruise around the world with her loving husband. Suddenly the fairy waved her wand and poof – there appeared two tickets for an all-inclusive cruise around the world on the Queen Elizabeth II. The woman was overjoyed.

Next it was the husband’s turn. He told the fairy that it had also been his wish to travel on a cruise ship around the world. However he wished that he would travel with a woman 30 years younger than him. The fairy waver her wand and suddenly the man became 90 years old!!

Tongue twisters! 0

A tongue twister is a sentence or phrase that is so difficult to keep repeating without making a mistake. The tongue is known to twirl when you attempt to tell these sentences or phrases aloud and quick. Try some of these and see for yourself.

1. Cycle rally, lorry rally.
2. Good blood, bad blood.
3. Unique New York.
4. She sells seashells on the seashore.
5. The sixth sick sheikh’s sheep is sick.
6. Betty bought some butter but the butter she bought was bitter, so she bought some better butter to make the bitter butter better.
7. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chick wood?
8. Freshly fried flying fish.
9. Greek grapes.
10. Many an anemone sees an enemy anemone.

Lessons in Management – 2 0

In keeping with the encouraging reply by admin, I have decided to post another good management lesson.

A turkey used to see an eagle sitting up a tree daily and wanted to get to that high spot. The turkey told about this to the cow. The cow told the turkey that if the turkey nibbled on some of his (the cow’s) droppings which were packed with nutrients he will get the strength and energy to reach the top of the tree. The turkey nibbled on the droppings daily and was able to scale the tree daily with more height each day. Finally the turkey was able to reach the top of the tree. Soon a hunter spotted the turkey on the treetop and shot the bird down.

The moral of this story? Bullshit might be able to get you to the top but it will not keep you there!!

Lessons in management 1

I have read a management joke some time back and am not sure if it is on the public domains. Nevertheless I decided to blog it here with the hope that some of you might not have read it or heard about it.

A raven was flying south to avoid the winter. On the way the bird was so tired that it fell down to the ground on the snow and lay there freezing. Soon a passing cow happened to dump some dung on the bird. Now the dung actually began to keep the little bird warm and the bird started to sing in joy.

A little while later a cat that was psssing by heard the sound, explored in the dung and dug out the bird. Promptly the cat ate the bird and left contented.

What’s the moral of this story?
1. Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

Operating room conversations you don’t want to hear!! 0

Going in for any surgery is a major fright in itself. Imagine hearing the things you read below in the theater!

1. There’s a lot of money in kidneys. Heck, this guy has got two of them!
2. Oscar, you bad dog!! Come back with that!!
3. Oh shit! Page 35 is missing from the manual!
4. Wait a minute! If this is her kidney, then what is that?
5. Can you stop that thing’s beating? It’s disturbing my concentration.
6. Anyone see where I left the scalpel?
7. What do you mean he was not in here for a sex-change?
8. And now we remove the subject’s brain and place it in the body of the ape.
9. OK, now take a picture from this angle. This truly is a freak of nature.
10. Everyone stand back. I lost my contact lens!

English is a funny language! 0

English is the lingua franca of the world. How often we have stopped to wonder how difficult this language is! I was recollecting some of the sentences in English and it is truly amazing to see some of the sentences.

1. The bandage was wound tightly over the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
4. I had to subject the subject to a number of tests.
5. It was just a minute prick and it was over in a minute.
6. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
7. They were too close to the door to close it.
8. There was a row amongst the oarsmen about how to row.

And some more:
1. Heartburn does nothing to the heart at all!
2. A house can burn up as it burns down.
3. Our noses run and the feet smell!

Entry to heaven! 0

Albert Einstein, Pablo Picasso and George Bush all die and are waiting to be admitted into heaven. St. Peter is not an easy man to please and he needs identification from each one of them before letting them go in.

First up is Einstein. St. Peter asks him to prove that he is Einstein. Einstein requests for a blackboard and chalk and starts a lengthy explanation on the theory of Relativity. St. Peter is convinced and lets him enter heaven.

Next is Picasso. St. Peter asks him to prove he is indeed Picasso. Picasso takes a piece of cloth and wipes the black board and draws a beautiful sketch of the surroundings with St. Peter in the frame. St. Peter is convinced and lets him enter.