Funny definitions 0

There are numerous words with alternative funny definitions and I have compiled a few of them here for your reading pleasure! Let me know if you know others.

1. Criminal: A person no different from the others except that he got caught!
2. Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually know.
3. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually begin to look forward to the trip.
4. Dictionary: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
5. Rumour: News that travels at the speed of sound.
6. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
7. Ecstacy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt.
8. A Classic: A book which people praise but do not read.